"I went to a record store and asked for 50 Cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling."

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More by Jay London

“I was brought up on charges.”

“I was born nine months premature.”

“I went to an audition the other day, they were casting 13 people to be clouds. 14 people showed up, it was overcast.”

“At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?”

“I'm addicted to prescription glasses.”

“I don't need to worry about identity theft because no one wants to be me.”

"Malcolm X Project. Project of the Center for Contemporary Black History at Columbia University. Retrieved May 19, 2005."