"Our school systems teach the children that they are nothing but glorified apes who are evolutionized out of some primordial soup of mud."

“We've already found a secret memo coming out of the Justice Department. They're now going to go after 12 new perversions, things like bestiality, polygamy, having sex with little boys and making that legal. Not only that, but they have a whole list of strategies to go after the churches, the pastors, and any businesses that tries to assert their religious liberty. This is coming and it's coming like a tidal wave.”

“My friends, there is no Palestinian-Israeli conflict. There is only the global war on terrorism.”

“I have notified the speaker that I will temporarily step aside from my position as majority leader pursuant to rules of the House Republican Conference and the actions of the Travis County district attorney today.”

“Nothing's worse than a woman know-it-all.”

“I’ve been indicted for rules that don’t even exist”

“Emotional appeals about working families trying to get by on $4.25 an hour are hard to resist. Fortunately, such families do not exist.”