David Woodard

"The Feraliminal Lycanthropizer is a low frequency thanato-auric wave generator. Known for its use by the Nazis and for its animalizing effects on human subjects tested within measurable vibratory prox…"

"I think I can understand El Serruchito’s dismay. Imagine troubling yourself to attend some infant’s funeral, only to find dashed your modest poetic hopes."

"A bride burns her bridges, having fallen in love, and drowns in marriage."

"I immediately recognized the nearly finished score as incidental music destined by an unlikely congress of muses, including the pre-ghost of Jack Kevorkian, to accompany the death of Tim McVeigh, as h…"

"The secret is the secret. Sincerity is the word."

"Initially I observed, in sweeping, panoramic vision, a perpetually metamorphosing Persian rug. A few minutes later these patterns segued into cinematic images from childhood—it was kind of like watchi…"

"The Master Great Cultural Figure cannot be communicated with, at all."

"The Italian Nerd does not exist . The Italian male does not feel / recognize the relevance of nerddom. This was felt at the Milan airport as a patrician black-clad gentleman moved the croissant into h…"