George W. Bush on Humor

"See, the irony is, what they need to do is get Syria to get Hezbollah to stop doing this shit and it's over."

"Every nation, in every region, now has a decision to make. Either you are with us, or you are with the terrorists."

"We are working hard to convince both the Indians and the Pakis there's a way to deal with their problems without going to war."

"After the chaos and carnage of September the 11th, it is not enough to serve our enemies with legal papers."

"Yes, Peter. Are you going to ask that question with shades on?... I'm interested in the shade look, seriously.... For the viewers, there's no sun."

"There was no evidence that Saddam Hussein was involved with the attack of 9/11, I've never said that and never made that case prior to going into Iraq."

"Our war on terror begins with al-Qaeda, but it does not end there. It will not end until every terrorist group of global reach has been found, stopped and defeated."

"Dealing with Congress is a matter of give and take. The president doesn't get everything he wants, the Congress doesn't get everything they want. But we're finding good common ground."

"Either you are with us or you are with the terrorists."

"I watched his interview with her, though. He asked her real difficult questions, like 'What would you say to Governor Bush?' 'What was her answer?' I wonder. 'Please,' Bush whimpers, his lips pursed in mock desperation, 'don't kill me.'"

"...because the 9/11 Commission wants to ask us questions, that's why we're meeting. And I look forward to meeting with them and answering their questions. Because it's a good chance for both of us to answer questions that the 9/11 Commission is looking forward to asking us, and I'm looking forward to answering them."