humor

"If every economic issue is framed as a struggle between a hardworking white middle class and an undeserving minority, then workers of all shades are going to be left fighting for scraps while the weal…"

"Remember, I don’t threaten. I don’t play. I always carry firearms. The truly violent are never without them."

"I shall ask no more than that you agree with Dean Inge that even though counting heads is not an ideal way to govern, at least it is better than breaking them."

"The legal bias for special protection for women has begun to wreak havoc with the Constitution's guarantee of equal protection."

"I don't care with my popularity"

"And the imperialists? Will they sit with their arms crossed? No! The system they practice is the cause of the evils from which we are suffering, but they will try to obscure the facts with spurious al…"

"I've never claimed that this is investment art. When we first started out, all the art colleges and universities across the country would sort of badmouth what we were doing. It's funny that a lot of …"

"We preach the Golden Rule with an enthusiasm that is well-nigh vehement, and then freckle the globe with huge murder-houses for the expeditious destruction of those who have as good a right to live as…"

"These days when I see a child in Waitrose and smile and say, "Hello, are you going to visit your Mum in her sheltered accommodation when you grow up?" it provokes glistening eyes and hollow laughter. …"

"The forgiveness of Christ is complete, and without condition. It is not dependent on an apology, or tied to a punishment."

"We measure everything by ourselves with almost a necessary conceit."

"That guy is so quick, he can switch off the light and get into bed before the room is dark."

"Wack job in the back with a black stocking cap/Jacking off to a hockey mask in a boxing match"

"We often resort to something called Hilbert space, which is described as n-dimensional—it’s like modern sex, any number may be played with."

"The Bible has been interpreted to justify such evil practices as, for example, slavery, the slaughter of prisoners of war, the sadistic murders of women believed to be witches, capital punishment for …"

"KING: … of any kind. Should they have a state? Do you agree with the president there? There should be a Palestinian state?"

"The whole plain was like a battlefield—or a farmyard. There was a reddish light and I jumped down, cramped and stiff with cold; a sliver of moon was piercing the low clouds and it looked like a gash f…"

"Ibn Ishaq - "Then the apostle sent Sa-d b. Zayd al-Ansari, brother of Abdu'l-Ashal with some of the captive women of Banu Qurayza to Najd and he sold them for horses and weapons."

"A writer should write with his eyes and a painter paint with his ears."

"If you were not to be its victim, this book and body would amuse you with its arrogance. It would make you laugh. Because you were not its victim, you could feel no pain of betrayal."