humor

"If the big spenders get their way, they'll charge everything on your "Taxpayers Express Card." And believe me, they never leave home without it."

"It's hard to explain. I don't care about anything having to do with anything having to do with anything other than the country."

"Those people with a sense of humor get by more comfortably than those who don’t."

"Some mysteries are better off with their throats slit."

"Ninety-eight percent of management work in this organization is routine. The other two percent is a tightrope walk over an erupting volcano without a safety net. Congratulations: here’s your balance p…"

"Nye, who earned a mechanical engineering degree from Cornell University, combined his love of science with his flair for comedy when he won a Steve Martin look-alike contest in Seattle."

"The mark of the truly civilized is their patience with what truly baffles."

"Greek Opera Omnia by Migne Patrologia Graeca, with analytical indexes and concordances made on the whole writings"

"'A'isha reported that she used to play with dolls in the presence of Allah's Messenger and when her playmates came to her they left because they felt shy of Allah's Messenger , whereas Allah's Messeng…"

"I am extremely pained by the methodology adopted by the Comptroller and Auditor General of India in coming to some figures which have no basis whatsoever. Their exercise was fraught with very serious …"

"Frivolity without gaiety and earnestness without seriousness—a most unattractive combination."

"I am individual, stylish, mad and a lot of fun to be with."

"Critics disagree about almost every quality of a writer’s work; and when some agree about a quality, they disagree about whether it is to be praised or blamed, nurtured or rooted out. After enough cri…"

"Interview1 with Bill Moyers"

"So many black kids are put in that position, so I wanted to show that there is no one way to talk black. There is a stereotype that if you sound ghetto, and you use a lot of slang, that makes you blac…"

"He said: I heard the Messenger of Allah say: 'There will come to you Uways ibn ‘Aamir with the reinforcements from Yemen, from Muraad then from Qaran. He had leprosy but he recovered from it except …"

"My travelling companion has just abandoned me. He's a perfect Father Joy, this Father Corot. He is altogether a wonderful man, who mixes jokes in with his very good advice."

"“I said, ‘This going to perhaps sound cheesy, but two of the things I love the most are making people laugh and America,’…I like patriotism. There is an underlying theme of patriotism in all of the Ha…"

"Laughing with Kafka by David Foster Wallace"

"My fight comes up May 27 ... I'm not going to worry about Georges until after that." - Talking about his upcoming title fight with Georges St-Pierre."