humor

"I am not in Us Weekly. I'd have to be going out with someone who is in there to be in there myself."

"The air which is struck with most swiftness by the movable thing is compressed to the greatest degree in itself."

"He opened his eyes and looked down at his pale chest With the two lone hairs that were a sardonic last farewell from glorious jungle ape-hood."

"Dr. Strangelove's humor is generated by a basic comic principle: People trying to be funny are never as funny as people trying to be serious and failing. The laughs have to seem forced on unwilling ch…"

"Online interview with Kundera"

"…it’s not a term I reject. It’s a term that I came slow to using. I had a desire to want something that was more personal and more precise and less freighted and not an umbrella term, but, in a way, a…"

"No matter how much you pray or fast, our country cannot grow without some of us deciding to do the hard work that makes nations work."

"Karl: I came up with a good idea....see through skin"

"Here's the other big secret of comedy: the audience writes most of it. You kind of give them what you think is funny, and they "grade" your work, second to second. "Good word", "bad word."

"You have come out of the big prison which you had been put in and you have taken me out with the same act from the small prison which I had been put in."

"You can never bail someone out of trouble without putting someone else into trouble."

"Here’s to dodgy adventures with disreputable relatives!"

"The formula 'two plus two equals five' is not without its attractions."

"In fact, we had a number of extreme leftists and trade unionists among us, and they seemed to take it for granted that we all agreed that the rich must somehow be forced to surrender their ill-gotten …"

"“Very ingenious, like all your theories,” said Stormgren. “I wish you’d give them Opus numbers so that I could keep up with them. The objections to this one—"

"Sooner or later, Mr. Bush argued, sanctions would force Mr. Hussein's generals to bring him down, and then Washington would have the best of all worlds: an iron-fisted Iraqi junta without Saddam Husse…"

"In southern Florida the orchid flora is more or less confined to the peculiar hammock formations in the Everglades and in the pine woods. In these the species are found on the trees and on the ground,…"

"With the Muslim conquest the position of Indian women suffered a set-back."

"Without weighty grounds, we must not push aside unanimous Indian tradition; else one practises scepticism, not criticism."

"Yo, money over bitches, my niggas trust my senses, and I will take on that shit as the Lord is my witness! And you all have witnessed, but I have not finished. So keep your mouth closed and let your e…"