Karl Pilkington

"Just pop it on your wrist. - Ricky asks Karl how his 'invention' of a watch that counts down your life would actually work."

"I was at some night once, right. It was some night out and er, some people come running on stage. And some music started coming on. These four people came running out, it was two women, two blokes. It…"

"On Steve's dancing ability- er, it's just like a bit of weird art"

"Yeh I know but, I remember one on our estate, right. And she was a bit... what's the word that you can use cos I don't want to offend anyone? I'd say mental... but sort of mental homeless, is that a t…"

"You don't have to do it straight away, but just do it before it gets really bad - Karl re-evaluates the phrase A stitch in time saves nine."

"The only reason you don't go on holiday, is 'cause you have to spend money."

"I look at life like a big book and sometimes you get half way through it and go 'Even though I've been enjoying it, I've had enough. Give us another book'"

"A stitch in five saves fifteen or whatever - Another re-evaluation by Karl of the phrase 'A stitch in time saves nine'"