Woody Allen on Religion
Browse 9 quotations attributed to Woody Allen, catalogued under Religion, with dates where available.
This page displays 9 quotations attributed to Woody Allen and filed under "Religion" in QuoteLineage. The selection is ordered by stored importance and quality scores, not citation counts. A topic label describes how an entry is catalogued; it does not establish the theme's importance in the author's work.
Attributed to Woody Allen, entry #196253: "As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree"— probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on."
Attributed to Woody Allen, entry #55380: "If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank."
9 Quotes by Woody Allen on Religion
"As the poet said, "Only God can make a tree"— probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on."
"If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name in a Swiss bank."
"If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever."
"I can't get with any religion that advertises in Popular Mechanics."
"Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends."
"To me there's no real difference between a fortune teller or a fortune cookie and any of the organized religions. They're all equally valid or invalid, really. And equally helpful."
"If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans."
"To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition."
"Cookie: What are you sad about?Harry: I'm spiritually bankrupt. I'm empty.Cookie: What do you mean?Harry: I'm frightened. I got no soul, you know what I mean? Let me put it this way: when I was younger it was less scary waiting for Lefty than it is waiting for Godot.Cookie: You lost me!Harry: You know that the universe is coming apart? You know about that? You know what a black hole is?Cookie: Yeah. That's how I make my living."