"So you can be a historian and also be an asshole."

"I said goodbye to a skinny boy I had made friendship bracelets with morning and asked how old he was. I was…"

"Steven Spielberg offers me a part in Raiders of the Lost Ark... But as much as I'd like to do a movie with …"

"A couple nights ago, I was licking jelly off my boyfriend's penis. And I thought, "Oh my God — I'm turning …"

"I'm planning, you see, to try to confine myself to the truth. That's hard for an old, inveterate fantasy ma…"

"Why ruin a good story with the truth?"

"The weakness of the attack lies in its lack of discrimination. It is possible that psychic surgery is a hoa…"