Geoff Boycott

"If my mum was alive she could captain England to play West Indies... hopeless, aren't they?"

"He's a lovely guy, that Ricky Ponting. He likes the English so much he changed the series for them with the most stupid decision he'll ever make in his life."

"He can be so rude to people that sometimes you just want to punch his lights out."

"This idea that umpires are always right is a load of old cobblers. What I want to know is: Who umpires the umpires? The players suffer from their mistakes, but no one ever seems to get rid of the umpi…"

"Anderson has a gift from the gods: he could swing an orange."

"We were brought up watching opening batsmen score nine before lunch. If Geoffrey Boycott flashed at a ball outside off stump in the first over of a Test match, questions were asked in Parliament. If h…"

"My tactic would be to take a quick single and observe him from the other end."

"They should cut Joel Garner off at the knees to make him bowl at a normal height."