humor

"After meat comes mustard; or, like money to a starving man at sea, when there are no victuals to be bought with it."

"If we paint the phases of a riot, the crowd bustling with uplifted fists and the noisy onslaughts of cavalry are translated upon the canvas in sheaves of lines corresponding with all the conflicting f…"

"... the only difference between Al Gore and George W. Bush is the velocity with which their knees hit the floor when corporations knock on their door."

"Patrick... understood that, though Christianity was not inextricably wedded to Roman custom, it could not survive without Roman literacy."

"Theodore Brown Hewitt. Paul Gerhardt as a Hymn Writer and His Influence on English Hymnody New Haven: Yale University Press. 1918"

"Above all, there is no simple one-to-one relationship between culture and ethnic identity, despite what many still believe. There are ethnic groups with great internal cultural variation, and there ar…"

"Foreign visitors . . . how impressed you all are with foreign visitors! But they come in many different varieties."

"We should, of course, expect that any universe which expands without limit will approach the empty de Sitter case, and that its ultimate fate is a state in which each physical unit—perhaps each nebula…"

"The difficulty of rising into the air increases rapidly with the size of the apparatus. The uplifting of a single person, therefore, is more easily attained than that of a large flying machine loaded …"

"Employers are not going to hire a candidate who is stressed by cashflow and family problems. With this kind of baggage around your neck, you will choke your job-hunting opportunities."

"When the light turns green, you go. When the light turns red, you stop. But what do you do when the light turns blue with orange and lavender spots?"

"The waxen line of the bowstrings struck their leather bracers with a light whapping sound ... A man dropped from each end of the attackers' rough formation, with the flat punching smack of arrowheads …"

"Trade is a proper and decent relationship, with dignity and respect on both sides."

"The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble."

"Did the Russians interfere in our elections? An issue of overwhelming concern in the media. I mean, in most of the world, that's almost a joke. First of all, if you're interested in foreign interferen…"

"You know, it's a funny thing, every one of the bastards that are out for legalizing marijuana are Jewish. What the Christ is the matter with the Jews, Bob? What is the matter with them? I suppose it i…"

"Interviews with Edward Albee" at TonyAwards"

"Thus did a handful of rapacious citizens come to control all that was worth controlling in America. Thus was the savage and stupid and entirely inappropriate and unnecessary and humorless American cla…"

"Those are the pictures you want from pre-season, so although we beat a Premiership side, I can take those away with me."

"Yeah, what are you doing, father? Keep your hands to yourself, man! Wanna do something with your hands? Stick them up the pope's ass! It's one of the new fucking rules, OK?"