humor

"The Banksus Militius is a virulent pest that marks its territory with a series of elaborate signs. Professor R Langford of University College of London states, 'Laugh now but one day they may well be …"

"Norbit operates on the principle that vulgarity is automatically funny. Crassness doesn't need a joke attached because it is the height of hilarity."

"fuck "jokes". everything i tweet is real. raw insight without the horse shit. no, i will NOT follow trolls. twitter dot com. i live for this"

"Aristotle him selfe sayeth, that medicines be no meate to lyue withall."

"There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts."

"Back and back the planes had come with their hail of bullets, while sampans sank and went under. Back and back until there was but one empty sampan left drifting on the water. Then the planes had come…"

"Without hesitation, she made a fist and hit herself in the right eye, her knuckles making contact with the top of her cheekbone. And then she poured milk into her coffee."

"It is easy to kill someone with a slash of a sword. It is hard to be impossible for others to cut down."

"We have brought a peace, and we trust we have brought a peace with honour, and I trust that that will now be followed by the prosperity of the country."

"Have done with this rhapsody of impertinence."

"Flotsam from his childhood are rising through his attention. He's remembering the skin of an apple, bursting with nebulae, a look into curved reddening space."

"When I didn’t have a family, I was much more of a workaholic … I still like to work, but I also want to be home with them. As you get older, you realize you need balance. If it’s not fun, what’s the p…"

"I spoke in debates arranged by the Indian students in London and once V.K.Krishna Menon opposed me. The debate concerned the role of Asia in world affairs and I used the word Asiatic. Menon raised a l…"

"I’m actually quite tired because Threepio is an exhausting character — he’s always very tense, he’s always slightly on the edge of panic. That’s why he’s funny, because he’s always in the wrong place.…"

"Edward, Edward," he said with a patronising smile, "there are no unanswered questions of any relevance. Every question that we need to ask has been answered fully. If you can't find the correct answer…"

"They made a medley without melding or meddling."

"It is extraordinarily difficult to secure the right outcome for this resultant of many separate policies. It depends on weighing one advantage against another. There is hardly a conceivable decision w…"

"We are going to scourge the Third Reich from end to end. We are bombing Germany city by city and ever more terribly in order to make it impossible for them to go on with the war. That is our object; w…"

"He did not suffer fools gladly and his threshold for foolishness was set rather low. He was the master of the terrifying put-down: with his fine palate he loathed cigarette smoke and once on the train…"

"This matter of periodization is not , however, altogether alien to the signals given off by the expression "late capitalism," which is by now clearly identified as a kind of leftist logo which is ideo…"