humor

"With that kind of money, I could have invaded some country."

"He seems a very harmless sort of young man, nothing to like or dislike in him — goes out shooting or hunting with the two others all the morning, and plays at whist and makes queer faces in the evenin…"

"A comedian goes out and hits people right on. A clown uses pathos. He can be funny, then turn right around and reach people and touch them with what life is like."

"The violence and intimidation we have seen should never have happened. It is the work of extremists. It is the enemy within."

"Earth is here so kind, that just tickle her with a hoe and she laughs with a harvest."

"I have been to Switzerland before but not to this house or to a Swiss bank."

"No, father, you preach from the pulpit and I will preach with my brush."

"What do they mean by insolent remarks that the countries external to the Western Hemisphere are not allowed to have any interests there?... Take a look at the map of the U.S. military bases—the whole …"

"You don't go into the National Gallery of any famous capital city and cry, sob, laugh, fall about on the floor, become very angry -- it's a completely different reaction. It's a reaction which is to d…"

"If a tree falls in the woods and no one’s around to hear it, it still very probably makes a sound. A baseball game that’s played with no one around to watch it, though — that’s a different proposition…"

"All within the state, nothing outside the state, nothing against the state."

"Medicine is a very old joke, but it still goes on."

"Jerry Springer: And what do you do with your concerts?"

"It is remarkable that since Nekhludoff understood that he was disgusted with himself, others ceased to be repulsive to him."

"Only a few of us had been able to face directly the obscene conditions we inflicted on animals in our farm factories and modern slaughter houses; but most of us knew on some level that they entailed a…"

"Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious."

"The world about us would be desolate except for the world within us."

"responded to with the most severe lockdown tried anywhere in the world outside of Wuhan itself."

"There was a tone we set with the writing staff -- that Larry set -- that it had to be original; it had to be unique. It-- it had to be something very funny and very fresh."

"I say to the grownups, 'If you want to deny evolution and live in your world that's completely inconsistent with everything we've observed in the universe that's fine. But don't make your kids do it.'"