humor

"The road to Hades is easy to travel; at any rate men pass away with their eyes shut."

"Mayor Nagin is here from New Orleans, the chocolate city... Mayor Nagin, I'd like to welcome you to Washington D.C., the chocolate city with a marshmallow center, and a graham cracker crust of corrupt…"

"It is not permissible for a Muslim to buy products of the countries that are in a state of war with Islam and Muslims, for example, Israel."

"To the moon and back with Sheyene Gerardi TV show"

"“and as they, when they have once mastered them, are easily able to manage all others; so I, after managing Xanthippe, can easily live with anyone else whatever."

"If customers leave without a purchase, you have not failed. But if customers leave without a smile, you have."

"He was insane with anger. Or is all insanity anger?"

"If you understand comedy, you understand life. Drama, death, tragedy – everybody has these. But with humour you've got all these, and the antidote. You have found the answer. It doesn't follow that be…"

"I think I’ve kind of carved out a sweet spot for myself by combining science and comedy. To me, it’s like putting syrup in your medicine. Everything just goes down easier if you add humor to it, and y…"

"If wars began with rage, they ended with exhaustion."

"And they took twenty seven eight-by-ten color glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one explaining what each one was to be used as evidence against us. Took pi…"

"“As far as I’m concerned,” said Constant, “the Universe is a junk yard, with everything in it overpriced. I am through poking around in the junk heaps, looking for bargains. Every so-called bargain,” …"

"Rabindranath Tagore: "In conversation with H. G. Wells" Rabindranath Tagore and Wells conversing in Geneva"

"Will the misogynists and the nut jobs on the internet continue to circulate them? Yes, they will. And it wouldn't matter what I said and it wouldn't matter what documents were produced and it wouldn't…"

"For a lazy man I work awfully hard, I couldn't live without acting. In fact anybody who can live without that feeling is a complete idiot."

"Calling slave labor "chores" is a euphemism on par with calling Hitler a "best-selling author with a side hustle" or JFK's assassination a "bad hair day" or this a comedy show."

"Tenacity, Dick — stay with the bastard till he's on the bottom."

"Warlocks are independent. And hard to get hold of. Like cats, but with fewer tails. Well, there are some tails. I don't have one myself"

"The drug hit him like an express train, a white-hot column of light mounting his spine from the region of his prostate, illuminating the sutures of his skull with x-rays of short-circuited sexual ener…"

"He marvelled again at the effect of projection: how hostile Henry had seemed to him when Patrick was hostile towards everyone; how considerate he seemed now that Patrick had no argument with him. What…"