Marty Feldman

"I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician."

"I was about five and a half or six when I converted … I was brought up the first five years of my life in London, in the working-class part of the city, where the only animals that a child is liable t…"

"Sex is two plus two making five, rather than four. Sex is the X ingredient that you can't define, and it's that X ingredient between two people that make both a man and a woman good in bed. It's all r…"

"I carry Keaton's photo around with me to remind me what happened to him. If the Hollywood system can destroy him it can destroy me."

"I feel about Keaton the way an organist thinks of Bach."

"When I quoted Bulwer Lytton's "The pen is mightier than the sword" to Marty Feldman he added reflectively, "Yes, and considerably easier to write with."

"Hookers have to deliver on their promise... unlike politicians."

"Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act."