"If I had known what it would be like to have it all... I might have been willing to settle for less."

“If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?”

“People think there's some real subversive thing playing against whoever it is; a lot of it is just people who want to go along and get along. And they also want to make money. And the bottom line is, they're going to put out as much stuff as they can — stupid, banal stuff that makes money.”

“I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework”

“Truth is, I've always been selling out. The difference is that in the past, I looked like I had integrity because there were no buyers.”

“If evolution was worth its salt, it should've evolved something better than "survival of the fittest." I think a better idea would be "survival of the wittiest." At least, that way, creatures that didn't survive could've died laughing.”

“I have always felt that humor was a wonderful vehicle to let us become connected with each other and ourselves… I try to portray the similarities and polarities in men and women, so that we can acknowledge and embrace our collective consciousness.”