humor

"A lady ... with all the poise of the Sphinx though but little of her mystery."

"Greig, currently hot in the TV comedy Green Wing, has a dark, brittle glamour that isn't quite beauty and suggests an incipient unhappiness lurking beneath the ready wit."

"When within yourself you find the road, the right road will open."

"If Adenauer were here with us in the sauna, we could see for ourselves that Germany is and will remain divided but also that Germany never will rise again."

"The center will not hold if it has been spot-welded by an operator whose deepest concern is not with the weld but with his lottery ticket."

"I've got a couple of those Gossard Wonderbras. They are so brilliant, I swear, even I get cleavage with them."

"Beware of the man who won't be bothered with details."

"Intelligence is the ability of a species to live in harmony with its environment."

"Feist Interview with Comfortcomes"

"In the New Testament our enemies are those who harbor hostility against us, not those against whom we cherish hostility. For Jesus refuses to reckon with such a possibility."

"I always pet a dog with my left hand, because if he bit me, I'd still have my right hand to paint with."

"...he was extremely pleased with the things President Reagan had done. One feels in Europe there is somebody in charge."

"Comedy -- and show business -- is-- look: either I win, or you win. There's no truce! Same thing with television: I knew that -- I knew-- look: either you're gonna kill me, or I'm gonna kill you. And …"

"Having spelling errors is one thing, but c'mon. I've typed out more coherent sentences with my penis."

"Everything that's working, we're going to make it better, everything that's not working we're going to try and fix, and anything that seems to be obsolete and not necessary we're going to away with."

"Quote of Miró on a visit of Calder who brought with him the small mechanical circus made from wire: a letter by Miro, 17 March 1964 / Correspondence 61; as cited in Calder Miró, ed. Elizabeth Hutton T…"

"2007 Real Audio interview at NYPL with Günter Grass and Norman Mailer by Andrew O'Hagan"

"“A cure for old age is a very common wish,” Kurtz observed. “Dashed slug-a-beds want to be shot by a jealous husband, not a nurse bored with emptying the bedpan."

"You sound like a man with a vision. Care to pass that bong over this way?"

"Mister Lincoln then took up the Massachusetts shoemakers' strike, treating it in a humorous and philosophical manner, and exposing to ridicule the foolish pretense of Senator Douglas, that the strike …"