humor

"My wife is in Portugal with the dog. The dog is with my wife so the city of London is safe, the big threat is away."

"I was irrevocably betrothed to laughter, the sound of which has always seemed to me the most civilized music in the world."

"The tragedy with the I.C.H.R. was that it was hijacked by four historians who claimed themselves to be ‘an independent forum of historians’ and took upon themselves the task of passing judgment on all…"

"That's part of our policy, is not to be taken seriously, because I think our opposition, whoever they may be, in all their manifest forms, don't know how to handle humor. You know, and we are humorous…"

"If I paid $3 or $4 for a cigar, first I'd sleep with it."

"I didn't want to do it, but they said if I did it they would give me Undercurrent with Robert Taylor. Then they gave Undercurrent to Katharine Hepburn, so I left MGM."

"This is still the strangest thing in all man's travelling, that he should carry about with him incongruous memories."

"Neurotic: someone who can go from the bottom to the top, and back again, without ever once touching the middle."

"Modern wars are seldom fought without hatred between nations; this serves more or less as a substitute for hatred between individuals."

"124. A monk is a man who is separated from all and who is in harmony with all."

"I grew up in war-torn Iraq, and I believe that there are two sides of wars and we've only seen one side of it. We only talk about one side of it. But there's another side that I have witnessed as some…"

"Small debts are like small shot; they are rattling on every side, and can scarcely be escaped without a wound; great debts are like cannon, of loud noise but little danger."

"Rooming with him. Why, I room with the big monkey's baggage."

"The salat can be made up for, but there is no making up for false show or outward worship without presence."

"The trial of the insurrectionists from Shuia, for opposing aid to the starving, should be carried out in utmost haste and should end not other than with the shooting of the very largest number of the …"

"The old temple of Ramachandra at Janmasthanam must have been a very fine one, for many of its columns have been used by the Musalmans in the construction of Babar's masjid. These are of strong, close-…"

"But are we within likelihood? Batra asked. Are we even still within the realm of anything other than paranoid lunacy?"

"I consider myself an atlas. Sort of an Arnold Schwarzenegger with a Nigel Tufnel twist. I walk close to edges; I kiss them with my toe."

"This and a great deal more like it I have had to put up with."

":4. Never look encouragingly at the brass, except with a short glance to give an important cue."