humor

"The border with the Sahara can't be bigger than ours with Mexico."

"I would like to express my regret for the harms and wounds that once existed in this island of Taiwan. I also want to extend my apologies to those afflicted with such long-standing and agonizing pains…"

"Pride is great up to the point you begin to throw out the baby with the bathwater. The rule of Satanism is: if it works for you, great. When it stops working for you, when you’ve painted yourself into…"

"Laughter is America's most important export."

"I often went to bed without supper 'cause I hated my mother's cooking. So, to go to bed without supper was not a torture to me. If she was gonna hurt me, she'd make me eat."

"You can pretend to be serious but you can't pretend to be witty."

"When we heard of the severity of the awesome judgment that the hand of God visited on the land of Jerusalem, we and our brothers were disturbed and scarcely knew what to do or what we should do. ... b…"

"I have not been able to see a bit of sea or any water at all; everything is frozen and covered with snow."

"Stability is not everything, but without stability, everything is nothing."

"The spirit of Advaita is not to keep away from anything, but to keep in tune with everything."

"This solution has great superficial appeal--all the excitement of secret, forbidden, romantic sexuality without family responsibility and family grubbiness."

"Doing something controversial was never my intention. This was just my sense of humor, and the kind of humor in my family. I never drew anything my mom wouldn’t have laughed at. Of course, my mom was …"

"What a strange machine man is! You fill him with bread, wine, fish, and radishes, and out comes sighs, laughter, and dreams."

"With tooth and nail."

"Unfortunately, the universe does not come with an instructor’s manual and technical support is as hard to get as it is for some software packages."

"...allegiance is the very essence of nationhood, there is no meaning in nationhood without allegiance. Nationhood means that a man stands to one nation, to one loyalty, against all others—that is what…"

"We remember the refrain from the Philippines: ‘Underneath the starry flag/Civilize him with a Krag /And then get underway for home sweet home.’ But you have to civilize him first, and how you do that …"

"Toblerones! It's impossible to eat a fucking Toblerone without hurting yourself!"

"My patron saint is a-fighting with a ghost. He's always off somewhere when I need him most."

"“Yes, maybe it’s just one colossal big joke with no point to it.” Lazarus stood up and stretched and scratched his ribs. “But I can tell you this, Andy, whatever the answers are, here’s one monkey tha…"