humor

"We've done much better than most. And with the fatality rate at a lower rate than most, it's something that we can talk about."

"When I saw a policeman strolling toward me I walked away. It was a hot night. Sand from the Mojave had blown across the city. Tiny brown grains of sand clung to my fingertips whenever I touched anythi…"

"You saw hunger. Some guys were great at playing their position but didn't have that feeling inside and that was something that L.T. had with him every down of every game and he never lost it."

"Mengzi - Chinese text with English translation"

"As with all quantum devices, a qubit is a delicate flower. If you so much as look at it, you destroy it."

"A Budget of Paradoxes reprinted, with the author's additions from the Athenæum journal"

"Some of them are funny. Some of them are ridiculous. Some of them are annoying. I don't want to be one of those people that complains about the rumours. I never like it when a celebrity goes on Twitte…"

"Donald Trump is treating the press corps like it's a puppy that you whack on the nose with a newspaper when it pees on the floor."

"Alex Haley's Interview with Miles Davis"

"To build communism it is necessary, simultaneous with the new material foundations, to build the new man and woman."

"The behavior of the Taliban as well as their extremist attitudes do not correspond in any way with a tolerant Islam. We have always been opposed to extremist tendencies of Islam and we still are. We h…"

"Seeing an economy that is, in many ways, quite different from the one grows up in, helps crystallize issues: in one's own environment, one takes too much for granted, without asking why things are the…"

"The Pythagoreans associated good and evil with the limited and unlimited, respectively."

"Mr. Soame Jenyns, a writer of verse and member of the Board of Trade... In twenty three very small pages he had disposed of the "Objections to the Taxation of Our American Colonies" in a manner highly…"

"The hardest part of writing humor is finding a topic that hasn't already been used more times than the only back scratcher at the Institute of Very Itchy People. Ideally, you want a situation that mak…"

"He would be the finer gentleman that should leave the world without having tasted of lying or pretence of any sort, or of wantonness or conceit."

"Oh, I suppose my wife and I will open a bottle of champagne with another couple."

"Any man will follow any feminine looking thing down any dark alley; I've always wanted to see a man beaten to a shit bloody pulp with a high-heeled shoe stuffed up his mouth, sort of the pig with the …"

"Image search with Google"

"I have no trouble with Christ, but I have trouble with a lot of Christians."