humor

"There was no evidence that Saddam Hussein was involved with the attack of 9/11, I've never said that and never made that case prior to going into Iraq."

"What's wrong with the Spanish? Tell them they do not appreciate their own interests. Tell them we will recognize the Basques. Threaten them with this, and recognize Andalusia."

"“What harm have the trees done them?” he said. “Must they punish the grass for their own faults? Men are savages, who would set a land afire because they have a quarrel with other men."

"With the military forces that remained in NATO we took our show on the road."

"Non-Masons stay pretty much in the dark about What Goes On, though now and then something jumps out, exposes itself, jumps giggling back again, leaving you with few details but a lot of Awful Suspicio…"

"Humor in The White House: An Interview with Presidential Speechwriter Robert Orben, Communication Quarterly"

"Turkeys are intelligent, social, curious, and sometimes even funny. I wish people were more like turkeys sometimes. … We're going to have a special celebration for turkeys this November, where we're g…"

"on the basis of the types of inputs with which they must cope."

"Niggers was the ones with the rope, hanging off trees; Niggas are the ones with gold ropes, hanging out at clubs."

"During a 2006 broadcast, a conversation with a guest morphed from George Brett to singing in the shower. Blyleven mentioned that he had showered with Brett, and the guest expressed surprise. Blyleven …"

"Having touched Christ's feet is not an excuse for punctuation mistakes."

"A French critic referred to me as a gay pessimist, with gay used in its older sense, and talked of Cocteau in the same breath."

"Kant's position is extremely subtle — so subtle, indeed, that no commentator seems to agree with any other as to what it is."

"When one is a stranger to oneself then one is estranged from others too. If one is out of touch with oneself, then one cannot touch others."

"To create a balance of power and pedigree in the house, Hunter sent five bucks off to an ad he'd seen in the back pages of a magazine and received his mail-order doctor-of-divinity degree. He began re…"

"Humor is a conformity enforcer clothed in the garb of congeniality. It focuses on others' weaknesses, disasters, stupiidities, and abnormalities."

"I used to hate hip-hop, because the women degraded. But Too Short made me laugh, like a hypocrite I played it; a hypocrite I stated, though I only recited half omitting the word b*tch, cursing I would…"

"The Turks would do anything with a captured screaming infidel body - make it chew its own penis, thrust the testicles up the anus, saw the noseless earless head off with slow delicacy."

"Without categorization, maps would not be possible."

"Rough as a saw-edge, and hard as whinstone! The less you meddle with him the better."