humor

"The humorous story is told gravely; the teller does his best to conceal the fact that he even dimly suspects that there is anything funny about it."

"To withhold the rod is to put your child in the hand of Satan and co-operate with him in sending your child to hell!"

"Poets are damned but they are not blind, they see with the eyes of the angels."

"Who in the rainbow can draw the line where the violet tint ends and the orange tint begins? Distinctly we see the difference of the colors, but where exactly does the one first blendingly enter into t…"

"There is one man that we can run for office that even the French would say "Fuck off!" That man...is Jack Nicholson. Yes! You will never have a sex scandal with Jack because he has fucked everyone!"

"He laughs best who laughs last."

"I never worked with a dialogue coach before, but I'd hate it if an American did a British accent and didn't do it well. It would be insulting."

"What use was it to argue with a little idiot like this? Indeed, peasants never do argue; they use abuse."

"I am in no way facetious, nor disposed for the mirth and galliardize of company, yet in one dream I can compose a whole Comedy, behold the action, apprehend the jests, and laugh myself awake at the co…"

"With Islamic zeal, Akbar at first persecuted the Hindus."

"Write TV Public Television Interview with Jim Lehrer"

"Dealing with the Liberals, it was like trying to grab quicksilver."

"What is going on with David Lynch?, December 7, 2005"

"So many people don’t know about what happens behind closed doors in slaughterhouses and with animal testing. We’re a small minority of people up against large corporations with billions of dollars, bu…"

"Conservatives have a problem with women. For that matter, all men do."

"It is one of the chief skills of the philosopher not to occupy himself with questions which do not concern him."

"The relationship of point to line bothered the Greeks and led Aristotle to separate the two. Though he admits points are on lines, he says that a line is not made up of points and that the continuous …"

"In January 1928 the working class stood face to face with the shadow of an advancing famine. History knows how to play a spiteful jokes. In that very month, when the kulaks were taking the revolution …"

"I cannot hold with those who wish to put down the insignificant chatter of the world."

"Quality improves with effort according to an exponential curve."