Robin Williams

"The professor was on acid, and sometimes he'd shout, "I'm Lincoln!" And then, there'd be a kid in the back, "I'm Booth!"

"Cheney shot a man in the face hunting quail. I don't know about East coast quail, but California quail are this fucking big."

"And California weed is kick-ass fuckin' weed. This is weed that even Jamaicans go "Oh, don't smoke that weed, man." It's California Catatonic. The type of weed, you hit it and it's like... "FUCK! Shit…"

"And I know many of you are looking for Sarah Palin's new book, it is a bitch to find. Good luck. I found it somewhere between fiction and nonfiction, in the fantasy aisle."

"Parry is a man with a previous life that was so damaged that he had to create another personality. … It's like post-traumatic stress syndrome: Some people respond to traumatic or tragic events by with…"

"Thank you. How-DY! Whoops, wrong opera house. How do you like the play, Mr. Lincoln? Duck!"

"It is amazing I know it is huge. BEHOLD IT. IT IS GROWING. ALL OF MY PHALLUS IS A SHOWING!"

"I would like to do Shakespeare's only unknown piece, That's the Way I Lick It ... It's a bleak night my Lord. Look! The moon like a testicle hangs low in the sky. This bodes not well. ... Anon, post-h…"