humor

"I'm takin' lives for a great price, I'm the type to snap in heaven with a Mac-11 and rape Christ"

"A Husband without Faults is a dangerous Observer."

"A Sikh was standing at a milk-shop, buying milk. He was stabbed while standing there and killed. A Hindu was going on a bicycle. He was stopped on the road by a group of Muslims, asked to prove whethe…"

"A single Voltaire will do more honor to France than a thousand pedants, a thousand false wits, a thousand great men of inferior order."

"If you’re trying to explain how the Washington establishment has dealt with Putin in a hateful and demonizing way, you have to go back to the 1990s before Putin..."

"Like running hurdles. Work so hard, jump over every one, fast, high enough but no higher, because you can't afford to hang in the air. And then, when the race is over, you're dripping with sweat, eith…"

"Had it not been for Centennial, with its gaiety and its essential Canadianness, there could never have been a Trudeau as Prime Minister."

"Blood will stream over Europe until the nations become aware of the frightful madness which drives them in circles. And then, struck by celestial music and made gentle, they approach their former alta…"

"Philosophers who function within analytic traditions tend to reflect on the self in a way that unwittingly impoverishes and objectifies self."

"I is here with the geezer who was the Secretary-General of the United Nations. His name be none other than my man, Boutros Boutros Boutros-Ghali."

"My maxim was, la carrière est ouverte aux talents, without distinction of birth or fortune."

"And with Cæsar to take in his hand the army, the empire, and Cleopatra, and say, "All these will I relinquish if you will show me the fountain of the Nile."

"“Be of good cheer; for if our guests are sensible men, they will bear with us; and if they are not, we need not care about them."

"No, the Golden Mean is not a sunny, untroubled nullity, but a deep awareness of possibilities, with one eye cocked toward Comedy and the other eye skewed toward Tragedy, and out of this feat of balanc…"

"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks."

"I used to hang out with Bryan down at The Rec. They were going to a comic book show, Kevin, Bryan and Walter. Bryan invited me and told Kevin that Jason Mewes kid's gonna come. And Kevin was like, "Oh…"

"The basis of social relationships is reciprocity: if you cooperate with others, others will cooperate with you."

"Any labor which competes with slave labor must accept the economic conditions of slave labor."

"Vanbrugh, The Provoked Wife. Use with caution, this is an abridged and bowdlerised text."

"The suggestion that the prime minister had been flirting with one of the senior women cabinet ministers made me laugh every time I saw it, and I thought, "if you only knew!" Perhaps they should have p…"