"I is here with the geezer who was the Secretary-General of the United Nations. His name be none other than my man, Boutros Boutros Boutros-Ghali."

“Is it named after Michael Jordan?”

“Is that a real country?”

“I saw some amazing, beautiful, invigorating parts of America, but I saw some dark parts of America, an ugly side of America, a side of America that rarely sees the light of day. I refer, of course, to the anus and testicles of my co-star, Ken Davitian.”

“The moment I appeared the crowd started jeering and booing and shouting ‘faggot’ and spitting, I had hired a bodyguard and when the jeering started I turned to see where the bodyguard was, I could just see the back of his head as he was running out of the stadium.”

“Which is the funniest language? It's French, isn't it?”

“I is here standing outside the United Nations of Benetton. Which is where representatives from the three corners of the world come to end wars, international drug trafficking, and everything else that is a bit of a laugh.”