"For years I've nursed a secret desire to spend the Fourth of July in a double hammock with a swingin' redheaded broad … but I could never find me a double hammock."

“If I had as many love affairs as you've given me credit for, I would now be speaking to you from a jar at the Harvard Medical School.”

“If you possess something but you can't give it away, then you don't possess it... it possesses you.”

“There are things about organized religion which I resent. Christ is revered as the Prince of Peace, but more blood has been shed in His name than any other figure in history. You show me one step forward in the name of religion and I'll show you a hundred retrogressions. Remember, they were men of God who destroyed the educational treasures at Alexandria, who perpetrated the Inquisition in Spain, who burned the witches at Salem. Over 25,000 organized religions flourish on this planet, but the followers of each think all the others are miserably misguided and probably evil as well.”

“Sinatra! The Complete Guide An internet guide to all of Frank's works”

“Strangers in the night, AIDS in the morning.”

“You can be the most artistically perfect performer in the world, but an audience is like a broad — if you're indifferent, Endsville.”