"CM Punk, I suggest cashing in your tickets at Chuck E. Cheese for a replica ECW Championship because that’s the closest you’re ever going to get to the gates of paradise."

“At the Palace of Wisdom they don't send a boy to do a man's job, they send The Shaman; the Shaman of Sexy.”

“CM Punk playing Skee-Ball at Chuck E. Cheese is never going to reach the intellectual heights and experience the life that John Morrison experiences and, therefore, he will never know what to do in the ring against John Morrison.”

“We date real women in the Palace of Wisdom.”

“We don't let virgins hang out at the Palace of Wisdom.”

“Well think about it, Punk. Think about it before you sign that. Last week, you couldn't even last fifteen minutes in the ring with the new face of extreme, the Tuesday night delight, John Morrison.”

“I am the guru of greatness, the shaman of sexy, the ECW champion John Morrison. I am beyond good and evil, a portal to the infinite. Punk, you are temporary, fleeting, a footnote to an average reality. You want me to embarrass you at SummerSlam? Is that it? Then go ahead, sign it, but the fact is you can't handle the pressure, Punk. You couldn't handle being the ECW champion.”