humor

"Sinatra with a cold is Picasso without paint, without fuel — only worse."

"I have had my difficulties with the American legal system, and so I feel qualified to talk about it."

"Agriculture is a trade with the purpose... to produce profit or to gain money. The higher this benefit in the long run, the more complete this purpose is fulfilled."

"Do not collect weapons or practice with weapons beyond what is useful."

"If you want to be funny, you've got to have energy. Energy sells jokes. All sales requires energy, but stand-up is a hard sell. I'm sellin' you somethin' you don't even need!"

"I suppose you could switch grammars once you've seen 'use strict subs'."

"Almost all men are less humorous than Shakespeare; but most men are more humorous than Milton, and these, it is to be feared, having suffered themselves to be dragooned by the critics into professing …"

"If it is proven that the Babri Masjid has been built in forcible replacement of a Hindu temple, I will demolish it with my own hands."

"A careless song, with a little nonsense in it now and then, does not misbecome a monarch."

"With regard to himself, Field Marshal Model allowed no compromise and was ruthless, but he was indulgent to the men in the front lines who adored him. He demanded nothing for himself."

"If slaughterhouses had glass walls, the whole world would be vegetarian."

"...but defining their sound was Little Girls, an exuberant ska wrapped in an electronic patina, with modernist vocals à la XTC and a touch of dementia."

"It is better to debate a question without settling it than to settle a question without debating it."

"An ambiguity, in ordinary speech, means something very pronounced, and as a rule witty or deceitful....any verbal nuance, however slight, which gives room for alternative reactions to the same piece o…"

"Often pagans, with their eyes wide open, do not see very clearly."

"It is funny, but I’m disappointed that it accentuates the shallow."

"I was not myself last night | couldn't set things right | with apologies or flowers | Out of place as a cryin' clown | who could only frown | and the play went on for hours | And as I lived my role | …"

"Ennui is the desire of activity without the fit means of gratifying the desire."

"And oft with holy hymns he charm'd their ears, And music more melodious than the spheres."

"The lesson they took home with them was simple; it takes a full belly before a man or woman gives a tinker’s damn about anything as large as a planet."