humor

"I disagreed with doing this very small section of wall, in a tricky area, by a private group which raised money by ads. It was only done to make me look bad, and perhsps it now doesn't even work. Shou…"

"We are working hard to convince both the Indians and the Pakis there's a way to deal with their problems without going to war."

"In several respects, I consider my father as one of the most interesting men I have known. He was a man of perhaps the very largest natural endowment of any it has been my lot to converse with. None o…"

"The manner in which mathematical theories are applied does not depend on preconceived ideas; it is a purposeful technique depending on, and changing with, experience."

"advanced to within 500 meters from the Holy Mosque . On this occasion, I must thank and praise those in that complex who resist these bloodthirsty wolves."

"The liberals get what they want, which is a humorless void where nothing happens, where no one dare do anything, or laugh about anything, or behave in any way that doesn't suit their rigid way of lead…"

"By lowering their expenditure on food, we would be awarding every family with an increase in disposable income, and mitigate labor demands for wage increases."

"Laughing at the clueless mouthfarts of cute twenty somethings who spent their high-school years with vocal coaches or plastic surgeons is another variation on the theme "Are we getting dumber?"

"She was tall and pleasantly slender, without angularity anywhere. Her body was erect and high-breasted, her legs long, her hands and feet narrow. She wore two shades of blue that had been selected bec…"

"t's so funny when I do TV shows and they're like, "Yeah, you gotta keep it clean, man." I'm like, "How the fuck do I keep it clean? My shit is called 'Fuck It.' Get the fuck out of here. Don't put me …"

"Late evening with Col. Qadhafi at his "ranch" in Libya - interesting meeting with an interesting man."

"Good fielding and pitching, without hitting, or vice versa, is like Ben Franklin's half a pair of scissors -ineffectual."

"What is that joke? What is that? What IS that? What is Hitler? What is Stalin? What is Mao? What is ALL this stuff? What is Venezuela?"

"You never will be saved by works; but let us tell you most solemnly that you never will be saved without works."

"The table for Bengal shows that the Chandal who stands sixth in the scheme of social precedence and whose touch pollutes, is not much differentiated from the Brahmin In Bombay the Deshastha Brahmin be…"

"Outside the hospital the war was still going on. Men went mad and were rewarded with medals."

"In Germany, it's, let's say it's 5:59 and you're heading for the bakery or whatever and it's due to close at 6. The German will walk right up to that door and close it right in your face, they will lo…"

"Video Interview with Ursula Goodenough by Robert Wright"

"Music, for me, is a love bewitched. / Fame as a painter? / Writer, modern poet? Bad joke. / So I have no calling, and loaf."

"I told my wife, I said, "You get there at 5:30 you can fly with me but let me tell you something Sugar Tits, at 5:31 I am wheels up and I am fucking gone!" ...I said that. Not very loud, but I said it…"