Chris Rock

"George Bush is still in charge. And nobody gives less of a fuck than George Bush. You think you don't give a fuck? Bush don't give a fuck. Nobody gives less of a fuck than George Bush. If you was hang…"

"You learn more from fucking up than you do from success, unfortunately. And failure, if you don't let it defeat you, is what fuels your future success."

"So think about the poor slave who could read, but was scared to teach their kids to read for fear they would be killing their kids. Think about the poor slave that rode to town every week. Think about…"

"It's hard to defend "I've got hoes in different area codes". It's hard to defend "move, bitch, get out the way!" It's hard to break it down intellectually … "Well, as you can see, there's a bitch in h…"

"A black man failing black history... ain't that some sad shit..... cuz you know, fat people don't fail cooking!"

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to WLOW, Low Radio. Now a lot of rappers out there would like to tell the girls to get low, but tonight we're gonna tell you to get lower. That's right! In …"

"Yo, it's gonna be hard for Barack Obama to be President, 'cause Barack Obama has to overcome a handicap that the other candidate does not have to overcome. That's right. It's gonna be hard for Barack …"

"You won't be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz."