"A picture without falls is as bad as Niagara in the same fix"

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“Marriage is fine as an institution, but bad as a habit”

“The funny thing about our act is that dad gets the worst of it, although I'm the one who apparently receives the bruises … the secret is in landing limp and breaking the fall with a foot or a hand. It's a knack. I started so young that landing right is second nature with me. Several times I'd have been killed if I hadn't been able to land like a cat. Imitators of our act don't last long, because they can't stand the treatment.”

“If one more person tells me this is just like old times, I swear I'll jump out the window.”

“Our hero came from Nowhere — he wasn't going Anywhere and he got kicked off Somewhere.”

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"'I was talking to one of the McArdles there and I was telling him that he ought to be getting a women. "Huh," says he, "what would I be doing with a woman? I have me pint and me fag," says he, "and I'…"

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