"I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines."

Fred Allen Entertainment See all quotes by Fred Allen →

React to this quote

More by Fred Allen

“Sullivan will be successful as long as other people have talent.”

“Imitation is the sincerest form of television.”

“A good comedian can say things funny and other guys just say funny things.”

“A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized”

“I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there.”

“A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 am and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 pm to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished even before lunch.”

Resonant Thoughts

"Many things can make you miserable for weeks; few can bring you a whole day of happiness."

— Mignon McLaughlin

Journalism1913–1983

#time

"We must not despair, we must not for a moment pretend that we cannot face these things. Dangers come upon the world; other nations face them. When, in old days, the sea gave access to this island, it …"

— Winston Churchill

Politics1940–2010

#time

"The breakup of the former Yugoslavia--like the breakup of the former Soviet Union--presents challenges, some of which may, indeed, earn the label 'complicated.' But with the Bosnian war now in its thi…"

— Michael Johns

Economics1978–2014

#time

"The Pataphysique is not dead. It lives on in the minds of certain men, even if they are not aware of it. It has gone into “occultation,” as we say, and will come back again one day."

— Eugène Ionesco

Literature1909–1994

#time