"I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you find yourself up there."

Fred Allen Entertainment See all quotes by Fred Allen →

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“Sullivan will be successful as long as other people have talent.”

“Imitation is the sincerest form of television.”

“A good comedian can say things funny and other guys just say funny things.”

“A celebrity is a person who works hard all his life to become known, then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized”

“I'm a little hoarse tonight. I've been living in Chicago for the past two months, and you know how it is, yelling for help on the way home every night. Things are so tough in Chicago that at Easter time, for bunnies the little kids use porcupines.”

“A molehill man is a pseudo-busy executive who comes to work at 9 am and finds a molehill on his desk. He has until 5 pm to make this molehill into a mountain. An accomplished molehill man will often have his mountain finished even before lunch.”

Resonant Thoughts

"While there are cases where even the law recognizes an abortion as justifiable if recommended by a physician, I assert that the hundreds of thousands of abortions performed in America each year are a …"

— Margaret Sanger

Education1879–1966

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"Perhaps they will have to outlaw sending random lists of words. fee fie foe foo"

— Larry Wall

Technology1954

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"I ask no favors for my sex. I surrender not our claim to equality. All I ask of our brethren is, that they will take their feet from off our necks, and permit us to stand upright on that ground which …"

— Sarah Grimké

Social Activism1792–1873

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"A Pack of Spanish Lies sent abroad in the world, first printed in the Spanish tongue, and translated out of the original. Now ripped up, unfolded and by just examination condemned, as containing false…"

— William Cecil

Politics1520–1598

#justice