"People invite me to a party and go, ‘Run around naked and do cocaine and, like, hump people.’ And I’m going, ‘Nah ... I’ll just stand in the corner.’ I’m one of those people that will walk into a bar, and if I wasn’t a comic—because some people know who I am—I would just blend in. But I think people just think I am crazy because they see me doing stand-up, but I am generally not. I am very sad. I’m one of those guys that lights candles and listens to Rachmaninoff..."

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“I don’t have problem with it. It depends on how you do it. People say, “Why do you have to play Connie Chung?” I also play John McCain, which is fucked up because Asians captured him. Why does a black guy have to play Bill Cosby? I’ve done characters with thick accents and ones without. When me and Ken did Pineapple Express they wanted accents. I wasn’t going to say no—we were Asian assassins. In Harold And Kumar, I didn’t need one; it didn’t call for it. I’m a team player.”

“A lot of people that are in the disease of drinking and using can be caught up on the denial aspect of it. I don’t have a problem with that. I am very sensitive. I can just feel when things are getting out of control and I go, ‘Oh, you have to deal with this. Because you can die.’ I’ve always sort of had that.”

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