humor

"My idea of Comic Relief is switching Victoria Wood off."

"A little before eight-thirty the President and Mrs. Taft and the family would come down to the private dining room for breakfast. As a rule he would eat two oranges, a twelve-ounce beefsteak, several …"

"Disneyland is like a piece of clay: If there is something I don't like, I'm not stuck with it. I can reshape and revamp."

"The silky hush of intimate things, fragrant with my fragrance, steal softly down, so loth to rob me of my last dear concealment."

"To hold with the hare and run with the hound."

"Three blokes go into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability."

"I say we scrap the current system and replace it with a system wherein you add your name to the bottom of a list, and the you send some money to the person at the top of the list, and then you . . . O…"

"No one is competing with me and I am not trying to compete with anyone, I am looking for excellence and uniqueness in my work."

"11: If you have a procedure with 10 parameters, you probably missed some."

"Now Antiochus was not satisfied either with his unexpected taking the city , or with its pillage, or with the great slaughter he had made there; but being overcome with his violent passions, and remem…"

"A great joke and a great car: everything on it works. And there's nothing excessive that doesn't make sense or doesn't need to be there. To me, the Speedster and a great piece of comedy are identical:…"

"The self-surmounter can never put up with the man who has ceased to be dissatisfied with himself."

"George Orwell Islington 1946 - photo, with his son."

"Witches have no wit, said the magician who was weak. Hula, hula, said the witches."

"A batsman given to run-stealing need not open his mouth to gain the reputation of a wit."

"social problems which are ill formulated, where the information is confusing, where there are many clients and decision-makers with conflicting values, and where the ramifications in the whole system ar…"

"Nautica sweats with the fresh Gortex"

"I like a view but I like to sit with my back turned to it."

"A mystery of the universe is how it has managed to survive with so much volunteer help."

"The great thing about people with intellectual disabilities is that they’re not people who discuss philosophy... What they want is fun and laughter, to do things together and fool around, and laughter…"