humor

"For the sake of all beings I have made this body pleasureless. Let them continually beat it, revile it, and cover it with filth. Let them play with my body. Let them laugh at it and ridicule it. What …"

"Blueprint For A Reprise - Interview with Yoko Ono"

"Pax vobiscum will answer all queries. If you go or come, eat or drink, bless or ban, Pax vobiscum carries you through it all. It is as useful to a friar as a broom-stick to a witch, or a wand to a con…"

"The executive is primarily concerned with decisions which facilitate or hinder other decisions."

"With man, most of his misfortunes are occasioned by man."

"Intelligence solves problems and produces money. Money without financial intelligence is money soon gone."

"I once played the chief part in a rather exciting business without ever once budging from London. And the joke of it was that the man who went out to look for adventure only saw a bit of the game, and…"

"Alas the Church of England! What with Popery on one hand, and schismatics on the other, how has she been crucified between two thieves!"

"And, of course, the funniest food: "kumquats". I don't even bring them home anymore. I sit there laughing and they go to waste."

"And now, our submarines are armed with mass murder, our silly, only way of deterring mass murder."

"Three hundred men hastened forth, wearing gold torques, defending the land – and there was slaughter. Though they were slain they slew, and they shall be honoured to the end of the world; and of all u…"

"I tell him you are lucky I am not a jealous woman, because look at the women he's worked with: Shakira, Jennifer Lopez, Thalia, Madonna. These very sexy women. I trust him."

"I grew up in the 30s with an unemployed father. He didn't riot; he got on his bike and looked for work and he kept looking 'til he found it."

"Clips of interviews with Bowles from the documentary Paul Bowles in Morocco"

"It's like I've got a shotgun in my mouth with my finger on the trigger, and I like the taste of the gun metal."

"For the first time I understood Goethe’s laughter, the laughter of the immortals. It was a laughter without an object. It was simply light and lucidity. It was that which is left over when a true man …"

"As the oil is in the olive, so is the teshuvah, repentance, hidden within sin."

"Lysander, when Dionysius sent him two gowns, and bade him choose which he would carry to his daughter, said, "She can choose best," and so took both away with him."

"I reject that criticism because this is indeed another kind of holocaust, by another name. At last count, more than 40 million unborn children have been deliberately, intentionally destroyed. What wor…"

"Burning the witch Giordano Bruno is one more wound inflicted on Christ’s body."