"Can't is the cancer of happen."

“You borrow my brain for 5 seconds, and just be like "Dude, can't handle it, unplug this bastard", because it fires in a way that is, I don't know, maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm.”

“Charlie Sheen: Life and Times”

“Most of the time—and this includes naps—I'm an F-18, bro, and I will destroy you in the air, and I will deploy my ordnance to the ground.”

“I have a 10,000-year-old brain and the boogers of a 7-year-old. That's how I describe myself.”

“The scales of justice are in disarray”

“I didn’t really believe I had "tiger blood" or "Adonis DNA." These were just jokes.”