"It was good to know that if everything did go tits up, there's someone else in the world who would put up with me"

“I think some bacteria have better lives than that”

“Now Hilda, she was your bog standard old woman.”

“If you had 5 photos of anuses, I could not point mine out”

“You know that guy Richard Blackwood? He went in for a colonic, live TV. Never seen again.”

“Whats good with a holiday right.. say if you work in a factory from 8 in the morning till 8 at night, packin socks into a rubber bag right.. between 8 and.. what time did i say he finishes?”

“If you live in a glass house, don't be chucking stuff about. - Karl interprets the phrase Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.”