"On the highway, I hit a deer. I kept him. He's at home in the garage on the rafters. I'm going to use him for the celebration this weekend. He's a prop. They might suspend me for the last game, but I think this one is worth it. This is going to be the greatest celebration of all time, man. I actually use an animal."

“If you're going to do it, do it very cautiously. If you're going to ride a bike, ride it the right way. Don't speed. Do it for enjoyment. If you're going to bungee jump, have two cords in case one snaps. I don't ride anything. I just talk trash. That's it.”

“There are two things for Brother Harris this week. The bad thing is, he has to cover me. The good is he can save 15 percent by switching his auto insurance to Geico.”

“Esteban' Ochocinco is back, the most interesting footballer in the world. Everyone has to remember, I've always said that soccer is my No. 1 sport. I think Ronaldinho would be proud of me right now.”

“I'm struggling to … change a lot of people's minds about buying and wearing fur. To tell you the truth, when I was younger growing up, I thought it was all fake … So once I found out what really happens, I had the opportunity to do this, so I really wanted to become part of it. I wanted to get involved with the campaign basically because I’m an avid animal lover. You know, I have pets of my own―I’ve had them since I was a little kid. Animals always want to pick you up, no matter what.”