"Article on April Winchell"

“Your body is a temple, whether you're a Jew or not.”

“Get over it! Your 'wide-eyed, gamine, trembling chipmunk' thing! Get over it!”

“We've talked about coffee enemas and they're perfectly fine, except the doughnuts get stuck in the hose. And that just ruins everything.”

“: "I'll get him to call me some day, even if it means spilling cheese all over my brassiere at KFI, by gawd.”

“I'm doin' radio and there's a bag in front of me on the console that says 'Butt Stink' on it. Somethin' ain't right.”

“Out came Ms. Hilton in a Juicy track suit, chattering away like a gibbon on her jewel-encrusted cell phone. It was like magic, if magic were like a extra-strength laxative.”