"Tasmania is famous for its shape, which is the same shape as the pubic hair region on a woman's body, which I personally don't identify with. Mine's more like a map of the former Soviet Union. Not to scale."

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“...You shouldn't clap, that a lie... I like to tell lies. According to Shakira, hips don't lie. Which makes me a bundle of contradictions.”

“My mother doesn't like sex. She doesn't like the word, she doesn't like act, and I'm not entirely sure she's too impressed with the results. Ah well, you get out what you put in.”

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