"Cheer up. You never know — maybe something awful will happen tomorrow."

“Going to a sensational murder trial is the only way I can relax.”

“Life is nothing without a good sense of humor.”

“I would never want to film hard-core pornography, because it always looks like open-heart surgery to me.”

“pride myself on the fact that my work has no socially redeeming value.”

“Parents should worry if their children haven't been arrested by the time they turn sixteen. Being a juvenile delinquent is a birthright and as much a part of healthy adolescence as smoking cigarettes or getting pimples.”

“Waters might, once upon a time, have been a candidate to be the American Buñuel, especially when he had the raw hatred of Divine under his command...”