"No win, no fee, no basis in reality. Just a room above a minicab office in Acton and a steady stream of greedy simpletons whose delusion is only matched by their clumsiness."

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“But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!”

“BB: So, what form did these experiences take?Audience Member: Swimming with dolphins! BB: Dolby? What, you hear everything with a slightly reduced hiss? I like to hear the world in Dolby, it's fantastic! Mind you, it means that no snake will I ever hear. And I said that in a very strange way. No snake will I ever hear, mmm! Never put Dolby on snake detectors, that's what we must remember.”

“Daddy, turn it off, it's spoiling my brain”

“Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.”

“God, I'm in the same studio as de Burgh! He may have stood right where I'm standing now... and just thought his mad thoughts. Like "I am brilliant.”

“It's always been my long-held belief that eventually insects will take over the world.”

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Literature1871–1922

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"The almighty dollar, that great object of universal devotion throughout our land, seems to have no genuine devotees in these peculiar villages; and unless some of its missionaries penetrate there, and…"

— Washington Irving

Literature1783–1859

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"The working-class, generally, is slowly beginning to realise, the true value of solidarity and are gradually becoming aware of the fact that their interests, whether they be railwaymen, dockers, engin…"

— Arthur MacManus

Politics1889–1927

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"If dragons were common, and you could look at one in the zoo — but zebras were a rare legendary creature that had finally been decided to be mythical — then there's a certain sort of person who would …"

— Eliezer Yudkowsky

Literature1979

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