"I'm going to do all new, fresh material...you guys been keeping up with this O.J. thing?"

Zach Galifianakis Entertainment See all quotes by Zach Galifianakis →

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“For 8 years now I've been addicted to cold turkey. When I tell people I'm quitting cold turkey, they say,"What are you quitting?", I'm fucking quitting cold turkey.”

“Whenever I'm with a woman I whisper softly into her ear, "Will you touch my vagina...?" and she's like, "What!?" and I'm like, "That's what you're supposed to say.”

“My girlfriend looks a little like Charlize Theron...and a lot like Patrick Ewing.”

“Growing up my dad was like "Zach, you have a great last name: Galifianakis... Galifianakis... Begins with a 'gal', ends with a 'kiss'"... I'm like "That's great, Dad. Can we get it changed to 'Galifiana-fuck' please?”

“Seriously!, this is a DVD! I need dinosaurs, thunder, race wars, something! Dammit, I gotta sell this motherfucker.... 36.63.”

“When I was a kid, I had dyslexia. And I would write about it in my dairy.”

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