"When I got back into show business in 1961, I felt — for obvious reasons — that nothing in my life went right, and I realized that millions of people felt the same way. So when I first came back my catch phrase was "nothing goes right." Early on, that was my setup for a lot of jokes."

"In the shattered schoolhouse where for the first time he had felt the security of power, a few feet from th…"

"The phonetic animal par excellence is man. All men are born with an infinite capacity for making noises and…"

"An evil may be real, tho' its cause has no relation to us: It may be real, without being peculiar: It may b…"

"If they made a film of my life, I think they should get George Clooney to play me. He's a fantastic actor a…"

"Every minute of our life must be lived to the full – whether enjoyed or suffered. We must study, see the go…"

"It had already occurred to him that he would probably never be safe again in his life and he wondered if th…"