"It's not a beard, it's an animal I've trained to sit very still."

Bill Bailey Entertainment See all quotes by Bill Bailey →

React to this quote

More by Bill Bailey

“But our country's equivalent of gritty reality is more like "Look out Sarge, he's got a shooter!”

“Daddy, turn it off, it's spoiling my brain”

“BB: So, what form did these experiences take?Audience Member: Swimming with dolphins! BB: Dolby? What, you hear everything with a slightly reduced hiss? I like to hear the world in Dolby, it's fantastic! Mind you, it means that no snake will I ever hear. And I said that in a very strange way. No snake will I ever hear, mmm! Never put Dolby on snake detectors, that's what we must remember.”

“Three blind mice walk into a pub. But they are unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humour from it would be exploitative.”

“God, I'm in the same studio as de Burgh! He may have stood right where I'm standing now... and just thought his mad thoughts. Like "I am brilliant.”

“It's always been my long-held belief that eventually insects will take over the world.”

Resonant Thoughts

"The Sun-Paul must consider only one thing: what is the relation of this or that external reaction of the animal to the phenomena of the external world?"

— Ivan Pavlov

Medicine1849–1936

#nature

"In February 1917, it was found that a static solution with a positive curvature—the solution A—was not possible without the λ. In fact the curvature is proportional to λ . Thus, at the time when we ha…"

— Willem de Sitter

Science1872–1934

#nature

"When the media attention switches away from this story onto the next thing that happens in the world, the circumstances will still be there."

— Elvis Costello

Music1954

#writing

"I began with a strong bias toward skepticism. Besides, to tell the truth, I still find occult phenomena a little preposterous and irrelevant. What do they really matter if you place them against the t…"

— Colin Wilson

Literature1989–2013

#success