"I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me, and I didn't hear a thing."

Steven Wright Entertainment See all quotes by Steven Wright →

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“A lot of people are afraid of heights; not me, I'm afraid of widths.”

“Sometimes you cannot hear me, it's because sometimes I'm in parentheses.”

“Sometimes I talk to myself fluently in languages I'm unfamiliar with... just to screw with my subconscious.”

“I tried to hang myself with bungie cords. I kept almost dying.”

“In school they told me "Practice makes perfect." And then they told me "Nobody's perfect," so then I stopped practicing.”

“I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.”

Resonant Thoughts

"Earth was once molten rock, and now it makes spaceships."

— Brian Swimme

Philosophy1950

#nature

"I took a great deal of pleasure in it, and I still feel nostalgic about it. However, I felt that it had led me to live in a parallel world of pure invention, shut inside my solitude. Naturally, it was…"

— Jean Dubuffet

Art1901–1985

#nature

"It’s a thing we have in the family. We have a very different sound for us, and Chris jokes about it with me; the hilarious thing was that we saw the video without reacting to it."

— Princess Madeleine

Business1982

#humor

"I invent nothing, I rediscover. And the thing seems new because people have generally lost sight of the aim and the means of art ; they take that for an innovation which is nothing but a return to the…"

— Auguste Rodin

Art1840–1917

#art