"I tell ya, my wife likes to talk during sex. Last night, she called me from a motel."

Rodney Dangerfield Entertainment See all quotes by Rodney Dangerfield →

React to this quote

More by Rodney Dangerfield

“I tell ya, my family were always big drinkers. When I was a kid, I was missing. They put my picture on a bottle of Scotch.”

“I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.”

“A homeless guy came up to me on the street, said he hadn't eaten in four days. I told him, "Man, I wish I had your willpower.”

“When I was a kid I got no respect. When my parents got divorced there was a custody fight over me... and no one showed up.”

“My old man never liked me. He gave me my allowance in traveler's checks.”

“I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children's zoo. Last week, four kids escaped.”

Resonant Thoughts

"Marriage is like the Middle East, isn't it? There's no solution."

— Willy Russell

Music1947

#family

"Several years ago my dear wife went to the hospital. She left a note behind for the children: "Dear children, do not let Daddy touch the microwave"—followed by a comma, "or the stove, or the dishwashe…"

— Thomas S. Monson

Politics1927–2018

#family

"Children have to be educated, but they have also to be left to educate themselves."

— Ernest Dimnet

Philosophy1866–1954

#family

"The sky was dark, the night was black, obscurity reigned, the gleam of the wolves eyes was the only light that came to sight, the howling of the jackal was the only sound to be heard, conspiracies wer…"

— Ali Shariati

Social Activism1933–1977

#nature