"What a childhood I had. My mother never breast-fed me. She said she liked me as a friend."

Rodney Dangerfield Entertainment See all quotes by Rodney Dangerfield →

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“I tell ya, my family were always big drinkers. When I was a kid, I was missing. They put my picture on a bottle of Scotch.”

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“I live in a tough neighborhood. They got a children's zoo. Last week, four kids escaped.”

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"The yellowfly is almost too small to see, but if you leave its egg in your skin, you will lose an arm or leg before it hatches - if it does not kill you."

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"My mother gave me this book called Feature Films at Used Car Prices by a guy named Rick Schmidt. I gotta credit the guy, cuz he gave me the most practical advice. It empowers you."

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